Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Pamela Anderson as a double-G?

Get your mind out of the gutter! Columnist Will McMartin argues in The Tyee that the silicone-enhanced Barb Wire and Baywatch wonder should be appointed Governor General after Michaelle Jean’s term ends in five years.

Why, you might ask? Damn good question. And McMartin has answers. First of all, appointing Anderson as Canada’s head-of-state would make amends for Ottawa continually overlooking B.C. when picking occupants for Rideau Hall.

McMartin sets out his case using history and recent precedents set with Adrienne Clarkson and Michaelle Jean:

"In addition to being female entertainers, both Clarkson and Jean are married to self-aggrandizing artiste-philosophers whose work is incomprehensible to ordinary folk.
Clarkson's mate is writer John Ralston Saul, a supercilious swell whose essays reportedly find great favour in salons and faculty lounges from one end of Toronto to the other. Jean is wed to Jean-Daniel Lafond, a former philosophy professor who now produces films.
Pam's in step. She once was married to Tommy Lee, the drummer for Motley Crue, a heavy-metal musical group which sold millions of albums. And just as regular people haven't got the faintest idea what Saul and Lafond ramble on about, no rational person can fathom the popularity of Tommy Lee or Motley Crue."
Haha, I get it – McMartin is being funny. But he doesn’t answer the all-important question - Lord Stanley bestowed the Stanley Cup upon hockey’s best, Earl Grey gave Canadian football the Grey Cup, and, most recently, the Clarkson Cup will recognize achievement in women’s hockey – which sport would get the Anderson Cups?

(Thanks to Minister Faust for that one.)


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